Brilliant Light

This will not be a post where I talk about how much I miss Africa (even though I do!)

There's this question that everyone asks me: How was your trip?

I hate that question. Not because I don't have an answer, but because I have too many answers and not enough words to express the vast range of emotions that go through me whenever I think about it.

But last night I went with Heather to see the fireworks. And I had a revelation. My trip and everything it entailed was like a firework. Brilliant light. Dazzling. Explosions of color. Loud noises. Joy so deep you can't tell where it started. Excitement. Laughter. So many other things.

But just like fireworks, you have to be there to truly understand it. If you didn't see it for yourself, there really aren't enough words to express what you saw and felt. You can try, but no one will understand till try see for themselves.

So when I am asked how was your trip, those are all the things I want to say. And so many more. It was a dazzling display of brilliant light that you can't even begin to imagine.

Until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

I Hate Jiggers...

During my first 2 trips to Uganda I had heard of Jiggers. I knew what they were, but it wasn't until my third week here this time around that I got to experience them first hand...

Jiggers are tiny black bugs that burrow under your skin, most of the time in your feet, and lay eggs under your skin. When you remove them (which isn't all that painful if you catch them early) it leaves a hole in your skin until it heals. If you don't catch them, they get more and more painful, they can become infected, and if you wait too long the eggs hatch and basically explode out of your skin. Leaving an even bigger hole than if you remove them.

My third week here I found between 20 and 30 in my feet. It was annoying but not all that bad. I still have no idea how or why I got so many, when most of the other girls got one or two. But I quickly became the expert jigger remover.

In the village, the kids are infested with them. Some of them have horrible scars and holes all over their hands and feet. These kids walk barefoot everywhere, so they are just prone to get these bugs that live in feces infested soil. Zirobwe is a farming village. They all have crops and animals and it's the perfect place for jiggers to thrive.

Well after my own bout with jiggers, I decided it would be wonderful to go to the village, clean the kids' feet, remove and treat their jiggers, and then give them new shoes. Well, after this week, I'm glad my idea never panned out.

As I got to the village on Monday, Shannon had a 2 year old little girl named Nettie in her lap and was trying to remove a jigger from her finger. Nettie wasn't cooperating, so Shannon called me. She held Nettie while I worked on her finger. Half of her thumb was jigger. I worked to remove it, and Nettie took it like a champ. I got it out and she had a gaping hole in her finger. We began to treat it and then the drama began. She was not a fan of mine and I can imagine why... I then checked her feet and found another one in her foot. I tried and tried to get it out. She cried and squirmed and looked at me like I was a monster. It broke my heart. I just wanted her to understand that it was for her good, that it needed to be done. But I had to give up.

I then removed a huge one from her older brother's toe. He did amazing, even though I know he was in so much pain. It breaks my heart to see kids hurting. I hate it.

As I thought about watching this little girl go through all of this and I just wanted her to know it was for her own good. I think God looks at us that way. Sometimes we go through things that seem so painful and we look at Him like He's a monster, but HE knows what's best for us. He knows that sometimes pain is for our own good. He knows that sometimes, the only way you can heal is to deal with some pain.

But let it be known, even though God used jiggers to teach me a lesson: I still hate them, and pray that I don't have to deal with them a ton in my future.

Until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

She Survived.

In a place like Zirobwe, Uganda... age is a thing to be admired. Old age means survival. Old age means you've beat the odds. You've survived malaria, war, poverty, hardship, sickness, aids, violence, starvation, etc.

As we walked up to her home, I was amazed at how old and worn she looked. I was honored as she bowed her old, feeble knees to us as a sign of respect. She bows to me.... I barely know how to process it. I want to sit and talk to her. I want to know her story. I want to know what she's been through. I want to know how she finds the strength to kneel on the hard ground, just to honor us. She astounds me.

In a place like Uganda, she has beat all the odds. She has made it. I want to know all the words of wisdom she has and I want to soak it all in. I want to know how you find the strength to go on day after day in poverty. It's so hard for me to understand how she does it. The joy on her face as she accepts the mosquito net we've brought her is beautiful. I know that the reason she has made it, the reason for the perseverance is nothing but Jesus. It has to be.

I want Jesus that much in my life...  So much so that the circumstances of my life don't matter. That I can trust in Him so much amid so many things that don't make since and don't seem fair. I want that joy, that trust, that hope.

And I believe God is showing it to me.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Blessings in Disguise

Since I've been in this beautiful country, there have been several times that things have frustrated me, but which ultimately turned out to be blessings. Most of these blessings in disguise have had a central theme from God... "Slow down and spend time with me..."

Now the first instance I'm gonna share has nothing to do with the above theme, but it's the first one that happened. As many of you may remember, toward the end of October another missionary and I had our wallets and cameras stolen. What could have been a devastating event really wasn't that bad. God protected us in so many ways. It could've been so much worse. It was just stuff... and through the way we handled it a lot of people were impressed and realized the peace that comes from knowing the Lord! When your money and camera and IDs get stolen, it could be very easy to freak out and lose perspective. Somehow we never did and I believe God has blessed us for that.

Over Thanksgiving we had the power go out for 5 days. When it went out and I wasn't able to Skype my family on my favorite holiday, I was upset to say the least. But as those 5 days without power and internet unfolded, God showed us His plan. He wanted us to sit with Him, to stop focusing on what was going on at home and to focus on what He was doing here. We had 5 days of worship, bonding, and spending time in the quiet and stillness with Him.

Just last week, I went to the craft market and fell while I was there. I twisted my ankle and got bumps and bruises all over my body. By last Sunday night I could barely walk and I was freaking out!!! As everyone left for the village the next morning, I decided I should stay behind and rest my ankle. During those 2 1/2 days alone I was able to focus, gain new perspective, and begin to process that I leave this place very soon. I was able to spend time with Him and He began to reveal some of His purposes in my time here. He began to show me how, in His sovereignty He arranged every moment of my trip for my ultimate good. And above all, I just have more time and quiet to spend with Him.

This morning I was doing a favor for Emily and dropping off some stuff at Internal Affairs for her visa renewal. She has been here 6 months and plans to stay 6 more, but she is meeting all kinds of resistance and difficulty in renewing her visa. Will you pray for her that doors will be opened and her visa will be approved? Anyway, back to the story. I went to drop off her paperwork and was told that 2 things weren't good enough and she would have to try again. I was very frustrated for her because I went through the same thing a couple of weeks ago. I decided that I would walk for a ways toward home... So I walked for about an hour. I worshiped God, I prayed, I breathed in the amazing African air that I will miss so much...Most of all, I spent time with Him! I walked about 6.3 km and had a great time!

God uses unexpected things to get me into His presence and I am so grateful! I am so glad I serve a God who wants intimate time with me. He desires me more than I could ever imagine. The Most High God wants me! and He wants you too!!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Last Sunday

Today was a great day... My last Sunday in the village and it was everything I could've dreamed of.

Today was the first day that they held the service in the actual church building. Which was amazing! And it was children's Sunday. Most Sundays the kids have completely different church from the adults. It's led by us, the missionaries and is held under a portable canopy with all of us sitting on the ground. Today we joined big church and the kids were a big part of it!

It started with worship and some testimonies. Then I and another one of the missionaries were asked to get up and introduce ourselves and share with the church a word of encouragement... We were not prepared or warned about this in any way. But when hundreds of Ugandans are staring at you waiting for a word, you just pray that God will give you one!

Then the kids part: a Christmas play!!! The Christmas story was told and they acted it out! It was one of the cutest things I've ever seen! The kids and the parents were so excited! It is the first thing like that that has ever happened in the village and everyone did a great job. The audience laughed in all the right places.It was wonderful!

Then the older class, ages 9-14ish were all awarded Bibles and 9 of those kids were given special gifts for memorizing Scripture! It was so cool!

Then the Sunday School choir performed a few songs and we spent the next few very hectic hours we handed out shoes to a lot of kids in the village.

It was so much fun just spending the day worshiping with the kids and getting to see their families. This is a day I will treasure for a long long time!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Looking Forward

So since last night I wrote about the things I'll miss when I leave this place, I thought this morning I would write about the things I'm looking forward to going home. Most of these will be super shallow, but who cares?

I cannot wait to run into the arms of my family.
I cannot wait to hug my mom. She's one of the best huggers in the world.
I cannot wait to laugh until I cry with my best friend and sister, Heather.
I cannot wait to talk about life and the Word of God with the Cordells.
I cannot wait to make an awkward meal with Amber.
I cannot wait to try to figure out what we're going to do with our day with Steph.
I cannot wait to spend Christmas with my family: my sisters, parents and nieces and nephews.
I cannot wait to eat meat again.
I cannot wait to drive.
I cannot wait to take a shower and actually feel clean.
I cannot wait to wear clean clothes.
I cannot wait to feel the cold December air that tells me it's Christmas time.
I cannot wait to be back in my church, with the people who have become my family over the past almost 5 years.
I cannot wait to worship with the body.
I cannot wait to see Josiah and Caleb (who I'm sure have grown way too much over the last 4 months)
I cannot wait for Christmas and everything that goes with it,
I just cannot wait to be home.

As much as I will miss this place and so many things about it. I miss my home and my family and everything I love there.

Oh, and I cannot wait to share with all of you how God has changed my heart and life in these last months.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

I will miss

For the past few days there have been about a kajillion things that I have wanted to blog about, to spill my heart about all God is doing here and about all the things that are running through my mind, a million topics a minute... If I could just find the words to wrap around all that I am feeling and all that I am thinking about... Well then you would never have time to read it all. I just thought I'd tell you about some stuff I'm gonna miss...

I will miss these kids who scream my name every time they see me.
I will miss them jumping into my arms and trying to squeeze the life out of me.
I will miss almost falling over because they are pulling me in 5 different directions.
I will miss seeing the toys they make for themselves... Balls out of plastic bags, cars out of juice boxes...
I will miss the feeling of walking down a dirt road, trying to avoid the mud and the taxis speeding down the street.
I will miss the girls I live with who have moved from roommates, to friends, to sisters, and will forever be a part of my heart and life.
I will miss doing ministry with them every single day.
I knowing everything about their day and them knowing everything about mine.
I will miss the laughs we share together over common annoyances.
I will miss cooking for them.
I will miss the Ugandan staff who have become such a large part of my life.
I will miss hearing Luganda that I can't understand.
I will miss being called Nahni by everyone.
I will miss the deep greens and burnt oranges of this place.
I will miss the red dust always on my feet and ground into my clothes.
I will miss the poverty that somehow bring about so much richness.
I will miss the fresh pineapple.
I will miss long rides in the van crammed with too many people and too much stuff.
I will miss bumpy roads that give you "African massages"
I will miss climbing into the top bunk and pulling my mosquito net for the night.
I might even miss Herman the mouse (or mice) and waking up to the most annoying rooster in the world.

But I think most of all I will miss the necessity of relying on God for everything here.

I am praying that as I head back to comfort, God won't let me become comfortable. I want to every day, every hour need Him more than I need anything else. I want to rely on Him the way I do here. I want to stand out at home because of my relationship with Him as much as I stand out here because of the color of my skin. I want continued intimacy. I want deeper relationship. I want to rely on Him for every single need. I want to be hungry for His Word, His presence. His Spirit.

I want to want Him as much as He wants me!!!!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

2 weeks

How can 2 weeks seem like an eternity and like it can pass in the blink of an eye at the same time?

I have less than 2 weeks left in this beautiful country (for now at least) and my emotions are all over the place! On one hand I miss my family and friends more than I can express. They mean the world to me and it's been almost 4 months since I've seen them. On the other hand, this place has become a home to me. The girls I live with have become my family. The kids who scream my name every time they see me have become my joy every single day.

I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye to this place, but I sure do know what I'm running into the arms of when I go home.

I frequently ask God why He put my heart in 2 different places on the opposite sides of the world... I think He did it because He wants me to rely on Him. When things aren't hard in my life, I begin to think I can do things on my own. Newsflash: I can do nothing without Him. So on the days when my heart is torn in 2, I have to rely on Him. I have to know that His ways are far above what I can comprehend. I have to know that He sustains me and He is my only source of true strength. I can only turn to Him when I'm in Uganda and I miss people so much it hurts. I can only turn to Him when I return to America and my heart aches for the kids I will leave here.

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

I would appreciate your prayers as my time here winds down. That God would be able to do everything He purposes through me while I'm here. And that He would be my refuge and my comfort and make this transition as easy as possible...

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Darkness

So, this has been the longest I have gone since being here without writing a blog post. There are a lot of reason for that, but the main one is that we were without power for 5 days.

It has been an interesting week (maybe a little more). I have celebrated Thanksgiving in Africa (I've also begun celebrating Christmas here, even though I won't be here for Christmas day). Thanksgiving was hard, but it was also better than I ever thought it would be. It was made even harder by not having power because I wasn't able to Skype with my family who I miss so so much!

But we made the best of what we had. Thanksgiving dinner we had chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, green beans, and gravy. I prepared the whole meal, which I was very proud of. We all sat down around the table (which 2 of the girls had decorated. It looked absolutely amazing!) We all shared what we were thankful for and then dug into one of the best meals I've had since being here! During our meal the power went out (technically the power company came and cut our power line).

I think we made the most of a bad situation. We have a tendency to all go off into our own little world and be on our laptops all the time. It sometimes feels a lot like America how dependent we all are on our electronics. And we are so used to being able to contact our families anytime we want. During our 5 "dark days" we spent a lot of time together. We talked a lot, made Christmas decorations, we had a good bit of time to worship. I spent a lot of time reading and studying my Bible.

It was really nice to kind of have a time out from everything and focus on what God has me here for... especially since I have so little time left here. I am so ready to be home, but at the same time I want God to completely be in control of the time I left here. I want these last few weeks to be so full of Him, that it blows my mind.

Tomorrow morning we will leave Kampala to spend 3 days in the village. I'm kind of really excited! (putting aside the fact that I hate being without the convenience of being in the city). I can't wait to see what God is going to do in the coming days!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Overflowing

I truly believe the only way to show God's love to people you encounter that you have to be so full of God's love that it overflows to those you come in contact with.

Some days I feel like if I scraped down to my toes I might be able to find some to give away, but I'm very rarely overflowing...

A lot of this week I have spent frustrated, in pain, tired, and just scraping along. How can God use that? Well, somehow He does any way. I bet God would be a lot more glorified in my life if instead of just getting by, I was so full of His love and presence that it just over flowed out of me.

This isn't only true for me, a missionary in a third world country. It's true for you to. God has called us to be salt and light. Wherever we are. In Uganda, in Natchitoches, in your office, in your school, in your home, everywhere.

Don't let your salt lose its flavor and don't let your light become dim. Spend time with Him. Don't give out of obligation and don't try to drag water from a dry well. Go to the source. He is all you need.

(Most of this was directed right at me, but I thought you might want the reminder too!)

until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

Hard

Life here is not easy or convenient.

I don't have a car and I can't go places anytime I want to. I have to pay for a taxi or bodaboda or walk.

I'm never clean even right after I step out of the shower.

Mail and packages are not delivered to your door. You have to take a 2 or 3 or sometimes even 4 hour trip into town to the post office and frequently what you went to get isn't there.

There are no "quick meals". Everything has to be made from scratch.

Most of the things I eat at home are not available here and if they are, they're very expensive.

I see things here every day that would be considered abuse in the States. I see people live in poverty unlike anything else I've ever seen. I see people work and work and work and barely make any money.

Most things here operate in such a backwards way, it astounds me.

Life here isn't easy, but it's totally worth it.

Because of the lack of convenience and ease, I am forced to rely on God. I have to put my trust in Him, because I know there's no other way to get through it.

I have to trust that He is taking care of the things that I cannot see. This is a place of total dependence on Him. And as much as I love the easy life I live in the US, I love relying on Him more. One of my biggest fears is getting comfortable and forgetting that I need Him. Because I do. Every day. Every hour. I need Him whether I think I do or not.

Until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

At the Cross...

They sit alone on the streets... They don't look you in eye or ever say a word, but their presence screams at you. Their hopelessness is tangible. They have nothing and I have so much. They are beggars on the street and that's probably all they'll ever be. They are children who are abandoned and unloved. If I could, I would bring them all home with me. I would tell them of a father in Heaven who loves them and has plans for them, who can bring them out of the muck and the mire that is all they've ever known. I could spend days, weeks, years picking up one child after another and there would still be more who are sent to the streets to beg every day.

Some days I feel like if I could just have the money to provide for these kids everything would be okay. Sometimes I think that if I could just focus on the kids that I can help that faces will stop haunting me. If I just do for one what I wish I could do for everyone, then it would all be okay. There are some days that I feel like if I just curl up in my bed and block the world out, it will  be okay. But until God sets up His kingdom on Earth, it's not all going to be okay.

We live in a lost and broken world. God sends us as salt and light into the world, to be what He is. He sends to redeemed to redeem. He sends the healed to heal. He sends the found to find. He uses the restored to restore. 

We look at the world and think that there's nothing that can be done. The world is just too far gone. There is too much brokenness, too much suffering, too much hunger, too much sin. It seems so impossible to make a difference in the world. But the cross looked like an impossible situation. There is hope in Christ. There is restoration for the world coming and it's our job to be salt and light in the tiny corner of the world God has given us. We may not feel like we're making a huge difference. I may continue to have my heart broken by the things I see here, but God is doing eternal things every time we are faithful to what He calls us to.

As I typed this out, these lyrics are stuck in my head:

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me,

There's no greater love than this.

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now?

He has overcome the grave! Is there anything left that He can't overcome? Certainly not. I place my trust in Him and follow Him as faithfully as I can!


Until all have heard
lauren michelle gross

Belief = Obedience

My 24 birthday came with some pretty amazing gifts: from my sister I got a new study Bible that I've wanted for a while, and from some friends I got the Precept Covenant Study! I loved these gifts so much because they have been great tools in my relationship with Christ. I loved loved studying my new Bible and I loved learning about what it means to be in Covenant with God.

All that to say... while I was studying today I learned (or I guess was just reminded of) something very important. When you accept salvation through Jesus Christ, when you believe in Him, when you put your faith in Him, obedience follows.

This morning I woke up to find out that the presidential election didn't turn out the way I had hoped... For the past few weeks, every time I thought about the state of my country it almost made me sick. As I found out Obama had been reelected, I felt sick. But what does God call us to do? be obedient to His Word. To pray for our leaders and to give them respect. All leadership is God ordained, and God know what He is doing. So I put my faith in God, and I am praying for my president and all the leadership that God has set up in my country. Belief in God leads to obedience.

I have also been worried about things going on at home... Where am I going to live? Am I going to be able to find a job? Are things going to be done in time for us to go to Passion? (and a few other things). God tell me not to worry. He says the troubles of today are enough without piling on the worries of tomorrow. And since belief in God leads to obedience... it's time for me to trust that God is working things out... If I have faith in Him, I must have faith in His plans and His complete control.

With faith, belief, and obedience I hand it over to God!

until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

Angels are Rejoicing!

Today was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot stress that enough. This morning started with Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal... (I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it totally was!) Then we went to New Brainstorm Primary School and had program with them. It was a great time.

Me preaching at City Side

I then got the opportunity to preach at a High School Scripture Union. This is a gathering of Christian students that they have every day of the week. There were a few hundred kids present and I was kinda freaked out about speaking to them. I've had a hard week. I was not confident that what I was sharing would be relevant to these kids whose lives I can barely understand. These kids live harder lives than I can imagine and they are so faithful to God. I was nervous to say the least.

I got up and began to share about Rahab... In the New Testament she was known for her faith... but most of her life she was known as a prostitute. God brought her out of her sin and grafted her into the family of God. And through her, Christ was born. She is in the lineage of my Savoir... God can use anyone.

My 4 New Christian Brothers!!!

When I got done speaking, I found out that 4 young men accepted the Lord!!! Amazing! God can use even me. I would like you to know that angels are rejoicing over these 4 men's decision. And I'm rejoicing too!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Stolen

Isn't it just like the devil to take a perfectly good day and try to ruin it? Well that's what happened today.

This morning started off great! French toast for breakfast, waking up as late as I want (granted I woke up at 7, but I could've slept later), straightened my hair and got all dressed up for lunch with the girls, had pizza, chicken, fries, and ice cream for lunch... sounds like a great day right?

So we get done with lunch and grab a taxi to head home (taxis here are 14 passenger. more like a bus system that a taxi). But we get into a taxi and a bunch of shady things happen that we didn't put together until later. We end up getting out of the taxi cause it's not going to the right place... We stop at a supermarket to look for some things, and I go to pay for it. My wallet is gone. We meet back up with 2 girls who went a separate way... Emily's wallet is gone. Shortly after that, we realize both of our cameras are gone.

The men in the taxi purposely made us sit apart, they distracted each of us so that we would take our hands off of our bags... It is very frustrating. Both of us lost some money, our IDs, and our debit cards....we are both trying to figure out the best way to proceed with getting money for the rest of our stay, not having cameras and losing our IDs.

Both of us are in good spirits. We are grateful that we and the other girls with us were not physically harmed (much worse things could have happened.), we are grateful that there were other people with us that could pay for our taxi ride home, we are grateful that we weren't carrying more money than we were... We are grateful that God protected us in all the ways that He did.

As I think about what I have lost I am praying that what the enemy has taken, God will give back in His perfect timing.

Thankful that God's hand was on me today...

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Grace...

For the past few weeks I have been somewhat quiet and not posting a whole lot. For the past month and half we have done basically the same thing every week. While I love some of the projects we do, I get bored very easily and the things I encounter every day become more and more commonplace. But God got me thinking this week about something.

We were at a school called New Brainstorm Primary School. We go to this school a couple of times a week. On Tuesdays we go in the afternoon and teach them English and on Fridays we go and do our normal kid's program with them.

Emily and I teach the P3 class which is somewhat equivalent to second grade in America. So these kids should be around 7 years old. Some of the kids in our class are very bright and I believe they will do great things. But there's this one kid who tugs at my heart every time we go... His name is Ssebagala Grace and he is 14 years old and in P3. I don't know his circumstances: whether he's failed grades or started school late or something else all together. My heart goes out to him so much. Not only is he in a class with kids half his age, he has no confidence. I have a feeling that he is teased in and outside of class, called stupid, made fun of for being in P3. I have such a heart for this kid. I think about the likelihood of him continuing in school considering how far behind he is. It is likely that he will drop out and give up on  a successful future.

As I see him I think of the babies that are put on street corners to beg for money, the kids who come up to our car window begging for any and everything we have, I think of all the kids who will probably have no future because of the circumstances they were born into. I search for God's answer to all of the things that break my heart every day... Well, He hasn't given me the answer and He probably never will.

This week I will speak to the headmaster of New Brainstorm about giving Grace personal tutoring 1 or 2 times a week. While I can't solve the problems of a nation and society, I might be able to (with God's help) be able to change the confidence of one young man who I desperately want to see succeed.

Pray for Grace. Pray that God would continue to give me ideas on how to change Uganda one life at a time...

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

In loving memory

As I write this post tears stream down my face and blur the computer screen. Since I've been in Uganda there have been several conversations with my mom that I wish I could've avoided. I just had one of those convos.

Brother Jimmie Pyles

Today I would like to pay honor to a man very near and dear to my heart. Rev. Jimmie Pyles was in my life before my life started. Before I could stand, I stood in his hands. Before I could speak, he loved me like a grandfather. He was (and might always be) my pastor. From the time I was born, till I was probably 9 years old he was the Senior Pastor at FUMC Pineville. I wish I could explain the impact this loving man had on my life. Though he left our church when I was 9, he never stepped out of my life. Through the last 15 years he has supported me, prayed for me, financially supported me in missions, and so much more than I probably ever know. It was and is an honor to have been a part of his life and to have him be a part of mine.

I am heartbroken to hear that he has left this world to be with the one he so faithfully served while he was here. Knowing him made me know the Lord more. He was one of those people who once he entered your life it became fuller and richer than you thought it could be. He served God in humility with all he had. Being with him made you want to know Jesus more. I know that as he entered the kingdom his Master whispered in his ear "well done, my good and faithful servant."

As I grieve the loss of this amazing man, I am hoping and praying that I can live a life that impacts the kingdom the way he did, that I can love unconditionally, that I can cast aside everything not of the Lord, that I can live a life worthy of the calling God has placed on my life. I pray that I can be found faithful.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

54 days...

It has been 54 days since I have not had to worry about about whether I would have enough food for the day. 54 days since I have felt air conditioner blow on my skin. 54 days since I have experienced peace and quiet. 54 days since I've seen the people who mean the most to me.54 days since I've slept in a comfortable bed. 54 days since I've been in a car that I didn't feel like I was gonna die in. 54 days without all the luxuries that I've had 24 years to get used to. 54 days I've been covered in red dirt from head to toe. 54 days I've been living in a country that is completely contrary to what I've always known.

54 days feels like a lifetime... Sometimes I scarcely remember what it feels like to be home... but in just 58 short days I will board a plane and head back to the states.

I only 58 more days to be screamed at by children and chased down the streets... 58 days to have my personal space invaded. 58 days to plant seeds into kids' lives who have never known love or personal attention. 58 days to be called Mzungu! Mzungu! 58 more days of dust on my feet. 58  more days of kisses and hugs and watching kids slide down a hill on a piece of plastic. 58 more days of a completely full heart at the end of each day... 58 short days.

Time flies and drags on... I miss home and love being here. How do you reconcile loving 2 places so much that your heart hurts no matter where you are? For now I am grateful to be here for the short time God has allowed me and I am grateful that when I leave here I go to a place and to people I love just as much!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Small

I am Small. Even in this very small, very poor, very broken country that I am living in... I am small. I am seemingly insignificant. What could one American in a broken country of nearly 35,000,000 do to change anything? I live in a city of almost 2,000,000 people. How can I possibly think I can change a single thing?

Well because the Holy Spirit of God dwells within me. I am small, but He is huge! As long as my roots dwell in Him, He can grow me into anything He wishes me to be. He can accomplish anything He wants to!

Why am I writing about this? Well, this week the fact that I am very small has been made evident. As I sit in scripture unions with hundreds of high school students, as I walk down crowded streets where the only reason I'm noticed is because I look drastically different than everyone around me, as I play with kids who are sick and I can do nothing to help them... It's all so much all the time here. We do 10-15 projects a week encountering hundreds if not thousands of kids. What difference can be made?

Well for the one kid who sits on my lap for hours, love is making a huge different... Because he or she probably gets no one on one attention from anyone all week long. For the kid whose cut I clean and bandage, it makes the difference of increasing pain and infection or a cut that heals in a few days. To the child who's never heard I love you, being showered with kisses means the world.

Can I save Uganda? Probably not. Can I plant a seed that might one day save the life of a child who is dearly loved by the King of the Universe? Absolutely. So while I feel insignificant a lot of the time... To someone, I am changing a life! And that's a pretty big deal.

Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone!

Lyrics from a song that has meant a lot to me this week: For your Splendor by Christy Nockels

With my roots deep in you

I will grow the branch that bares the fruit

And though I’m small I still will be standing in the storm.

Cause I am planted by the river

By your streams of living water

And I will grow up strong and beautiful all for your splendor Lord.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Sacrifice of Praise

Yesterday I returned to Kampala to one of the most warm welcomes I have ever experienced. I heard Nahni's back screamed from staff members, neighborhood kids, and MSTs. It was so wonderful and made it much easier to be back!

Friday night brought with it our usual worship night. As we were worshiped God began to reveal something to me... How incredibly powerful worship is. God brought back to my mind time after time in scripture when worship was what changed circumstances...

In Acts 16 Paul and Silas had been imprisoned for proclaiming Jesus. They were beaten and put into stocks in the jail. As they were in the stocks they began to pray and sing songs of worship. As they lifted their worship to God, the walls of the jail fell down!! The worship changed the circumstance!

In the Old Testament Israelites marched around the fortified city of Jericho. They were thought fools! They marched around the city for 7 days. On the 7th day they marched around the city 7 times and on the 7th time they cried out to God! They screamed the name above every name. and the walls fell! The worship changed the circumstance!

Before the Israelites entered the Promised Land they faced a huge army which it looked like they could not defeat... God told them to send out the worshipers before the soldiers! The battle was won! The worship changed the circumstance!

Am I being redundant?! Worship changes circumstances!!! 

As God was telling me all of this, I was thinking... I'm not really going through anything hard right now... Why is God bringing this to me when I'm in a really good place...

Well, as I was going to bed last night I was in a lot of pain and couldn't sleep. I was up most of the night and in pain through a lot of the day... As I was laying in pain I heard God say "Will you worship in this painful prison? Will you worship through the battle? Will you worship until the circumstances change?!" 

It's so humbling and hard to worship, to praise, to proclaim the name of Jesus through pain and through the battle.

But I did it anyway... What are you going through? What are you struggling with? Are you willing to worship through whatever God allows? Are you going to worship till the circumstances change (even if the only thing that changes is your heart?)

I bring a sacrifice of praise into the house of the Lord! Sometimes praise is a sacrifice! Do it anyway. God doesn't change. He is good, He is love, He is faithful. No matter what!

Until All Have Heard,

lauren michelle gross

Jinja!

Hello from the happiest place on Earth! I know, a lot of you thought that was Disney World, but clearly you have never been to Canaan Children's Home! I love this place! I love the kids, I love the staff, I love the open country all around, I love hear little innocent voices in my ears all the time!

No really, this place is amazing!

I got here Monday afternoon and immediately felt like I was home again. I was attacked by children and could barely walk to bring my things inside. I then set out looking for some of my favorite kids from the last time I was here. It might be wrong to have favorite orphan kids, but I do!

A couple of weeks ago I saw on Canaan's facebook that one of their kids, Sarah had passed away. Sarah was one of mine last time I was here and I was heart broken. But Monday night as I played with the kids, Sarah got home from school and ran up to me!!! I cannot explain to you the joy I felt (still hate that one of the kids is gone, but so glad it wasn't this one that God had connected me with.)

As I found all of my kids, my heart became more and more full! As MyaEsther, Topista, Jane, Maria, Sarah, Patience and so many more hung all over me I felt God saying... "As much I you love them, I love you so much more! As much as you long for them, I long for you more! As much as you hurt when they hurt, I hurt for you more!" God's love is so faithful! So this week I am trying to crawl in His lap, dwell in His presence, and sit at His feet!

heart full!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Is this real life?

Tonight I went out for a bit on my own... I just needed a little bit of alone time and "quiet". Quiet doesn't really exist here ever,it was a relative quiet.

As I was walking home, I started to think... Am I really living in Africa? Do I really walk down the streets by myself in a country on the other side of the world from the life I knew? Am I really following the call of God on my life in Uganda?! Is this real life?!?!?!

Well, yes. It is! I have been living in Uganda for over a month now. I venture out into the city on my own. I get to minister to hundreds of kids a week. I get to love on "the lease of these" every single day. I walk out of the gate of our house and get attacked by precious children who just want to spend time with me.

This place is so a part of my spirit and soul, sometimes I can't imagine living in the States again. And at times I want nothing more. Sometimes I question why God has put my heart in 2 places so very far apart. Why can't my family and friends be closer to the kids that steal my heart?

But I think about Jesus stepping down from His thrown in heaven and coming down to a lost and broken world... Why? Because He SO loved! He SO loved!! And that's why I rip my heart out to leave all of my family and friends because I SO love these kids! And they melt my heart daily!

So I guess the answer is... yes, this is real life. This is really where God has called me. He has really been faithful to get me here. And He has really been faithful to sustain me while I've been here!

P.S. I leave for Jinja in the morning to go to Canaan Children's Home!!! I don't know if there is a place that has stolen my heart more than Canaan and I cannot wait to see some kids I love!!!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

His Grace is Sufficient!!!

This week has been really great. I have gotten a lot closer to my fellow MSTs, I laughed so hard my abs hurt, ministry has been great, I haven't been homesick a lot, and God has just been so faithful to provide for all my needs.

Then.... this morning I woke up in extreme pain. I took medicine and went back to bed. As I was laying in bed (all morning) I just got madder and madder... Why was I in pain? If I am following what God wants me to do, why am I in pain? Why isn't God taking it away?

As I got up this afternoon, I was chatting with a couple of different people and praying. God just began to reveal to me words from scripture... My Grace is sufficient for you... I know the plans I have for you... I have established an everlasting covenant with you... I knew all your days before yet there was one...

God knows what is going on, He hasn't left me (even when I'm in pain). His grace is sufficient!

So as I look forward to what is coming next: Passion Kampala (I couldn't be more pumped!), Sunday I leave for Jinja to visit Canaan for a few days (I am praying for this to be a sweet time with the Lord, and a time of rest and spending time with kids that I love!!)

I appreciate your continued prayers as I deal with this illness.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Just for Fun

Ok, so this post is completely pointless except to make you laugh and show you some of what happens when we're not doing ministry.

We missionaries have found a new game that we love (that I'm pretty sure was made up off the cuff by one of our Ugandan staff members). But it's fun none the less.

This is how the game works: Everyone in the room writes down completely random questions and then passes their paper to someone else in the room. Then that person writes down answers to the questions, without ever reading them... Some of them are completely ridiculous, but some of them are really funny.

So here are some of the questions and answers we had in our games last night:

How many yard gnomes do you have?
Because Jonah's car looks like the mystery machine.

Yes or no?
Sometimes the toilet doesn't flush.

Prince charming.... question mark?
Because the chicken wouldn't get out of the road.

Do you need help?
Only if I have a wedgy.

Who is your crush?
We elves try to stick to the 4 main food groups: candy, Candy Canes, Candy Corns, and Syrup

Why is your face like that?
Because I have to Pee

Why do jiggers attack us?
Life is like a box of chocolates

Why is your hair so perfect?
Because I found you, Ms. MooGoo

Why do Ugandans want to marry me?
I had a pet fish.

Our country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad. Why?
I hate cucumber

Why don't you like me?
This one time, I got electrocuted.

Why are you looking at me like that?
because I'm scared of the dark.

Hi, Welcome to McDonald's. How can I help you?
purple dragons at night.

What's wrong with this picture?
That's just the way my face looks.

Why am I your favorite?
I have no idea what you're talking about.

Who should be the next president?
T.I.A. (This Is Africa)

I hope this was as funny for you as it was for us... Just a little glimpse at what happens here when we're bored.

P.S. can you guess which ones are mine?

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

What A Week!

As I sit at home relaxing on this beautiful Saturday morning, I really have no idea how I made it through this week.

These are all the outreaches we did this week:

-Sanyu Babies' Home

-Victory Primary School: Feeding Program & Kid's Program

-Kireka Secondary School: Lunch Hour Fellowship

-Davemi Infant School: Kid's Program

-Katelemwa Children's Hospital: Kid's Program

-Clive College: Lunch Hour Fellowship

-Good Choice Primary School: Kid's Program

-Victory Primary School: Teaching English

-New Brainstorm Primary School: Kid's Program, Writing letter to penpals

-City Side High School: Lunch Hour Fellowship

-Neighborhood Kid's Program

Me and my fellow missionaries! So glad God has put these girls
in my life... Can't believe they start leaving soon.

And then tomorrow we will head to the village to lead Children's Church for 200-300 kids.

God is so good to give us the opportunity to minister to so many kids every week. I wish I could begin to count the number of lives I will have touched when I leave here. It is so cool to think of what God can do with just a little bit of faith and obedience.

In a few hours 2 of the other missionaries and I will head into town to shop at the craft market and then go to church. I am so excited about what God is doing in and through me here in Uganda and I can't wait to share more.



Until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

You Make All Things New

Let's rewind 3 years... My first trip to Africa our team partnered with a church here in the city. I was told immediately when I arrived that I should request an African name. I did and the name I was given was Birungi. They take what you have impressed to them and what they think of you and give you a name according to that. The meaning of Birungi is: bringer of good things. I was incredibly flattered by the ladies who gave me this name. But honestly, since that first trip I haven't thought much about that name, or the honor that it was to be given it.

Fast forward to today... We were driving down a typical African street which consists of about a million shops, stores, and stands, with even more signs everywhere. So even if you are reading signs constantly, you might only see 10% of the signs you pass. But when God wants you to see something, He makes it stand out. So what sign did I see today... A tiny sign on the side of the road that said Birungi.

God brought back all those memories of sitting with 2 wonderful ladies at a local restaurant and them thinking over my character and picking out this amazing name for me. It is a somewhat common practice in Uganda to receive a new name when you are born again. It was also common in the Bible. When people had encounters with God, they were so radically changed by the experience that they were given a new name, a whole new identity.

Abram became Abraham. Sarai became Sarah. Saul became Paul.

I started thinking over my life. Has God made such an impact in my life that I am not at all the same person I was before I encountered Him? My life should be radically different. When God enters your life, you should be shaken up, turned around, and so changed that you can't even go by the same name anymore.

God says that in Christ we are a new creation, behold the old has passed away and the new has come.

Is there anything in my life that still looks like the old? I challenge you as I challenge myself. Allow God to take the old and make it brand new. Allow those things that are not of Him and His character to be pruned from your life.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle (Birungi) gross

Made Perfect in Weakness

Well, today has brought on the start of another week. I have been in Uganda for 3 weeks now, and it's less than three months before I return to the States. It's amazing how time has crawled by and is flying by at the same time. I feel like I have been gone from home for so long, but I feel like my return is coming so so quickly.

The more time I spend here, the more opportunities I am taking to lead more. This includes yesterday when I led our Sunday School class. I guess I should explain what I mean by that: Every Sunday we travel the the village of Zirobwe, and while church is held for the adults we missionaries lead Children's church / Sunday School for the 200-300 children who attend every Sunday. We do praise and worship all together and split into 3 classes for the lesson and games. I lead the baby class (about 60 kids under the age of 4) with 2 other girls. Our class is held outside under a couple of trees in between several huts. The kids sit on mats and we try our best to communicate God's Word with them through a translator with a million distractions. The first week of this was totally overwhelming and I felt like what we were doing was useless. I felt as though we were glorified babysitters.

Well this week I taught the lesson. I shared with the kids the story of Jesus' birth. After I finished sharing, I asked the kids questions and those who answered right got a piece of candy. To my surprise there were 10 kids who knew all the answers. This may seem like a small thing, but I was hugely encouraged. Our work wasn't futile. Some of the kids were actually getting (through all the barriers and distractions). They were getting it. As I felt completely inadequate, God was using me. His strength was made perfect in my weakness.

He is so good and so faithful. I love being used as just a small piece in His huge story.

Until All Have Heard,
lauren michelle gross

We're All Sinking!

Few things irk my nerves more than disobedient children... but God has called me to work with kids in Uganda, which means my patience is tested almost every day.

This morning we were at a hospital / rehabilitation center for kids. We arrived to do our program (singing, crafts, and a story) and there were two kids who did not want to listen. It doesn't help that I've been in a lot of pain today and my temper was short before we arrived.

Anyway... this one kid came up to me and immediately tried to take everything I had: my hair-tie, my rings, my watch, and when I told him no he tried to bite and hit me... as my blood began to boil I got more and more mad... I cannot stand disobedience, disrespect, and injustice.

On the ride home the events of the morning were playing in my mind as I tried to seek God and find His peace. I began to think about my relationship with God. How often I am just like this child... I take things that God hasn't given me, I am ungrateful for the things he has given me, when I don't get my way I kick and scream and throw a fit, I go away and sulk and act like He doesn't love me. I am just like a disobedient child.

As we did devotions this morning someone mentioned the line from "How He Loves Us"

IF GRACE IS AN OCEAN, WE'RE ALL SINKING...

God's grace is so abundant to me when I am so awful to Him. His forgiveness, His mercy, His grace is astounding. So the next time I am frustrated by how I am treated by a kid who has probably known little love in his life, I will think of God's patience, love, grace, and mercy towards me.

Until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Milestones

This past week I feel like I have done a lot of small things that are hugely Ugandan to me....

Today I got around the city on my own: walked to the main road, got a boda (motorcycle for rent), got all the way across town on my own, and got back. That may seem like a small thing, but it was huge to me!!

I stayed in the village for 3 days: pumped and carried water from a well to our camp, lived without electricity and running water, and truly experienced village life.

I learned to make Chapati (my favorite Ugandan food) over a charcoal stove...

All of that being said... I feel like I have made leaps and bounds at making my home (for the next 3ish months) in this strange country.

I also got a phone to use here. It may be wasted money, but it just makes me feel better.

I'm loving learning what it's really like to live in this country and not just visit. Being in the village was truly eye opening. I've been to villages before, but never lived there... The conditions that these people live in are staggering. God has a special place in His heart for these people, their total reliance on Him is amazing. I don't how they make it through their day to day life, much less with the joy of the Lord and complete trust in Him. I am learning so much from the people God has placed in my life...

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Settling In

Today has marked a full week of being in Uganda. It has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. Thinking about where I have been at this point in my other trips. My first trip here, by now would be more than 1/4 over. My second trip here, by now would be more than 1/2 over. This time around: I have barely scratched the surface. I still have 102 more days in this country.

I say all of this to say that: as much as I have experienced and learned on my past trips to this wonderful place, I can't imagine all God has in store for me. This week I have been ecstatic, heart broken, homesick, physically sick, elated, and completely at home. I can't even imagine what is to come.

Over the past few days God has allowed me to form some bonds with my fellow missionaries, as well as the Ugandan staff members and the kids we minister to. For this I am extremely grateful. For those of you who know me well: I love my family and I have deep connections with people in the States that I left behind, so this is somewhat difficult for me being away from them for so long. But God is faithful to put people here that can make me feel at home and at ease even in this place so far from home.

Thank you for all the prayers! Please continue to pray for my health as I am still getting over this cold.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Least of these...

I have been in Uganda for 5 days. All of those days I have been sick. So a lot of the ministry I haven't been able to do because I have been resting.

Yesterday I took a short trip to the village (the rest of the team has been there for 3 days). Even in Uganda the poverty level between the city and villages is staggering.

Making the long drive to and from the village, I saw the thing that will never stop breaking my heart: children taking care of babies. Hundreds of them. I don't know each situation, whether each child had a parent who was working, whether they are orphaned children, whether they are runaways. I will never know.

But what I do know is that every time I see a baby on the back of a 5, 6,7,8 year old it breaks my heart that they have no one taking care of them and it takes all that is within me to not bring every single one of them home with me.

All I can do is pray that the Father to the Fatherless will take care of them. That He will sustain them and that He will bring them into His loving arms.

Until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Finally in Africa

Well, I made it. I'm finally in Uganda. Spent the last couple of hours sleeping, now meeting the Empower a Child team and other missionaries.

It was a rough journey: Got sicker and sicker the more I traveled, I didn't have internet or phone access any of the times I thought I would, I now have an eye infection, and my luggage didn't arrive (supposedly it will be here tomorrow).

All of that being said, God is faithful and I was forced to rely on Him every step of the way. Thank you for all your prayers. I am hoping to report in a couple of days that all of the above issues have been resolved. Love and miss you all!!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

He is Bigger.

3 days from now, I will be leaving for Uganda. It doesn't feel real. As I sit in my mostly unpacked room I am thinking over how incredibly blessed I am.

I shared with my church on Sunday that when God began me on this journey, I told Him all reasons I couldn't do what He was calling me to, I told Him how many people would be better at it. As I listed off to Him why He had picked the wrong person, He told me repeatedly that He is enough. He told me all the reasons why He could. The things God does don't make sense to me. The way He operates astounds me. His ways are far above mine and His thoughts are far above mine.

God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise, and if He uses foolish things, then He definitely has the right girl.

If God is calling you to something and you're telling Him all the reasons you can't, ask Him to tell you all the reasons He can. His reasons far outweigh your excuses. His truth will shout louder than the lies of the enemy. Be encouraged that when you aren't enough, He is!

until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

Then What Could Stand Against?!

Well, it's coming fast now. I leave for Africa in 12 days. Less than 2 weeks. This has to be the biggest step of faith I have ever taken. I am heading to a third world country for 4 months, leaving my life behind to follow the cross.

A few days ago I was listening to Chris Tomlin and his song Our God. For those of you who don't know, for the past 6, almost 7 months I have been dealing with some pretty serious health issues. I have now been diagnosed, had surgery, and have begun a treatment plan. All of this has been unnerving because at the beginning of the year I felt God calling me to Uganda on a long term trip. When you're in constant pain and for months have no idea where it's coming from or what it means... It makes you wonder... Is God really calling me there? Can I really handle it? Does He know how hard this is for me? 

Well, as I was listening to "Our God" this line struck me: 
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us.
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against.

God is for me, because I am following Him. If I am following Him, nothing can stop me, but Him. No one can conquer me, no one can hurt me, because God is for me. Even though my health is confusing and hard, God is faithful and HE is not the author of confusion. Health issues can come against me, but they cannot stand.

Many people are worried that I am headed around the world when just a few days ago I was in the ER with extreme pain. I am less concerned, because I know who God is and I know who I am. God wouldn't send His daughter somewhere without preparing the way. So whether I'm completely healed and without pain in 12 days, or not, God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He's got me. He's not worried. He's in control and He will give me the grace to walk through whatever He's called me to. 

I trust Him and I lay down my fear. He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.

Thanks for the prayers. They mean the world to me!

Until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

Africa Bound

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to Africa! It's real now. Nothing is holding me back!

I just purchased my plane ticket. I will be leaving the States on August 25th and arriving in Uganda on August 27. I will return on December 14!!! I really cannot contain my excitement! I have been holding back the news of my change of plans until it was official, but now it is!

I will be working with an organization called Empower a Child that does work with orphaned and vulnerable children in Kampala, Uganda. As excited as I was to be working with Sanyu Babies Home, I think God has divinely orchestrated all of my plans and preparation for this trip. And.... Empower a Child works with Sanyu Babies Home! So I'll still be able to volunteer there.

As I prepare to leave would you partner with me in prayer over a few things?

1. I still have endometriosis and will be having a small procedure done on July 20th to try to relieve some of my pain and then will meet with my doctor about further treatment early in August.

2. There are still funds needed for my trip. If you would like to help financially, you can donate through paypal by clicking the donate button to the right. If you are unable to help, please pray that God would fill the need.

3. A trip of this magnitude is a huge step for me and I want to be totally prepared. Would you pray that God would prepare my heart and mind for all I will encounter there, as well as, prepare me to leave my home for an extended period of time?

Thank you for your prayers and support!

until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

Fighting for Joy

These past couple of months have been filled with emotion, fear, trepidation, questioning, and many more things. For the past 2, almost 3 months now have been some of the hardest of my life.While trying to prepare for taking one of the biggest steps of my life... going to Uganda for 5 months, the enemy has been on the offense attacking me in more ways than I care to count.

3 months ago I started struggling with abdominal pain. I prayed, my family prayed, my church prayed, people all around the world prayed for healing, for understanding, for treatment. It didn't come. So, after returning from a trip up and down the East Coast I began to seek medical help. Test after test. Doctor visit after doctor visit. medication after medication. An ER visit. No answer for what was causing me so much pain. 

Last week I saw a different doctor and finally got an answer... endometriosis. I began to do research on what this meant, what the treatment is and what the implications are. As I read I got scared. All I've ever wanted to be is a mom and reading about infertility caused by endometriosis scares me. 

I having been fighting for Joy. not happiness, joy. Something that doesn't go away when I'm in pain, when I'm afraid, or any other thing that I've felt over the last few months. If the joy of the Lord is my strength, then I need joy, because I need strength to get through this. 

Over the next  2 or 3 weeks, I will see 2 more doctors and have countless more tests and procedures done, but through all of it I will fight for Joy. I wrote the following over a week ago, but it's still true...

"Right now more than anything i would love to wallow in self pity and complain about my day... but Jesus is still on the throne, I know God's promises for my life, I know that He has a plan for everything, I know that if God is for me then nothing can stand against me, I know the healer and He knows me. I know the enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy; but God has given me life and life more abundantly. I rejoice and rest in Him and I believe He will bring answers and healing in His perfect timing. I am going to bed in the arms of my Savior and nothing can touch me while I'm there."

until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross 

Change is coming.

It's official. I'm headed back to Uganda.

Many of you know my heart for this nation and especially the orphans, and following God's leading, I'm going back.

While some things are still up in the air, I can tell you my plans (even though I am prepared for God to change my plans at any and every moment.)

I plan to head to Uganda toward the end of July and stay there for 5 months, until the middle of December. I am going to work with Sanyu Babies Home in Kampala for the majority of my stay. They house 50 precious babies under the age of 2. I plan to help them with some administrative stuff and some web design, but mostly, just love on those babies.

You may ask... Where's the money coming from? The answer is: I don't know where the $7000 may be coming from. But if this is what God has called me to, He can most certainly spare $7000.

What will I do when I get back? I have no idea. I hope God completely wrecks my thoughts and plans and completely replaces them with His unimaginable will.

I know these months will probably be some of the hardest of my life, but I never planned to play it safe or to fit into a cookie cutter mold of a Christian. When I told Him I was willing to do anything, I meant it. When I told Him I wanted to something so big it's destined to fail without Him, He took the challenge.

I covet your prayers as I enter this season of life, for direction, for funds, and for reckless abandon for Him.

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross