3 months ago I started struggling with abdominal pain. I prayed, my family prayed, my church prayed, people all around the world prayed for healing, for understanding, for treatment. It didn't come. So, after returning from a trip up and down the East Coast I began to seek medical help. Test after test. Doctor visit after doctor visit. medication after medication. An ER visit. No answer for what was causing me so much pain.
Last week I saw a different doctor and finally got an answer... endometriosis. I began to do research on what this meant, what the treatment is and what the implications are. As I read I got scared. All I've ever wanted to be is a mom and reading about infertility caused by endometriosis scares me.
I having been fighting for Joy. not happiness, joy. Something that doesn't go away when I'm in pain, when I'm afraid, or any other thing that I've felt over the last few months. If the joy of the Lord is my strength, then I need joy, because I need strength to get through this.
Over the next 2 or 3 weeks, I will see 2 more doctors and have countless more tests and procedures done, but through all of it I will fight for Joy. I wrote the following over a week ago, but it's still true...
"Right now more than anything i would love to wallow in self pity and complain about my day... but Jesus is still on the throne, I know God's promises for my life, I know that He has a plan for everything, I know that if God is for me then nothing can stand against me, I know the healer and He knows me. I know the enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy; but God has given me life and life more abundantly. I rejoice and rest in Him and I believe He will bring answers and healing in His perfect timing. I am going to bed in the arms of my Savior and nothing can touch me while I'm there."
until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross
