2 weeks

How can 2 weeks seem like an eternity and like it can pass in the blink of an eye at the same time?

I have less than 2 weeks left in this beautiful country (for now at least) and my emotions are all over the place! On one hand I miss my family and friends more than I can express. They mean the world to me and it's been almost 4 months since I've seen them. On the other hand, this place has become a home to me. The girls I live with have become my family. The kids who scream my name every time they see me have become my joy every single day.

I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye to this place, but I sure do know what I'm running into the arms of when I go home.

I frequently ask God why He put my heart in 2 different places on the opposite sides of the world... I think He did it because He wants me to rely on Him. When things aren't hard in my life, I begin to think I can do things on my own. Newsflash: I can do nothing without Him. So on the days when my heart is torn in 2, I have to rely on Him. I have to know that His ways are far above what I can comprehend. I have to know that He sustains me and He is my only source of true strength. I can only turn to Him when I'm in Uganda and I miss people so much it hurts. I can only turn to Him when I return to America and my heart aches for the kids I will leave here.

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

I would appreciate your prayers as my time here winds down. That God would be able to do everything He purposes through me while I'm here. And that He would be my refuge and my comfort and make this transition as easy as possible...

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Darkness

So, this has been the longest I have gone since being here without writing a blog post. There are a lot of reason for that, but the main one is that we were without power for 5 days.

It has been an interesting week (maybe a little more). I have celebrated Thanksgiving in Africa (I've also begun celebrating Christmas here, even though I won't be here for Christmas day). Thanksgiving was hard, but it was also better than I ever thought it would be. It was made even harder by not having power because I wasn't able to Skype with my family who I miss so so much!

But we made the best of what we had. Thanksgiving dinner we had chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, green beans, and gravy. I prepared the whole meal, which I was very proud of. We all sat down around the table (which 2 of the girls had decorated. It looked absolutely amazing!) We all shared what we were thankful for and then dug into one of the best meals I've had since being here! During our meal the power went out (technically the power company came and cut our power line).

I think we made the most of a bad situation. We have a tendency to all go off into our own little world and be on our laptops all the time. It sometimes feels a lot like America how dependent we all are on our electronics. And we are so used to being able to contact our families anytime we want. During our 5 "dark days" we spent a lot of time together. We talked a lot, made Christmas decorations, we had a good bit of time to worship. I spent a lot of time reading and studying my Bible.

It was really nice to kind of have a time out from everything and focus on what God has me here for... especially since I have so little time left here. I am so ready to be home, but at the same time I want God to completely be in control of the time I left here. I want these last few weeks to be so full of Him, that it blows my mind.

Tomorrow morning we will leave Kampala to spend 3 days in the village. I'm kind of really excited! (putting aside the fact that I hate being without the convenience of being in the city). I can't wait to see what God is going to do in the coming days!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross

Overflowing

I truly believe the only way to show God's love to people you encounter that you have to be so full of God's love that it overflows to those you come in contact with.

Some days I feel like if I scraped down to my toes I might be able to find some to give away, but I'm very rarely overflowing...

A lot of this week I have spent frustrated, in pain, tired, and just scraping along. How can God use that? Well, somehow He does any way. I bet God would be a lot more glorified in my life if instead of just getting by, I was so full of His love and presence that it just over flowed out of me.

This isn't only true for me, a missionary in a third world country. It's true for you to. God has called us to be salt and light. Wherever we are. In Uganda, in Natchitoches, in your office, in your school, in your home, everywhere.

Don't let your salt lose its flavor and don't let your light become dim. Spend time with Him. Don't give out of obligation and don't try to drag water from a dry well. Go to the source. He is all you need.

(Most of this was directed right at me, but I thought you might want the reminder too!)

until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

Hard

Life here is not easy or convenient.

I don't have a car and I can't go places anytime I want to. I have to pay for a taxi or bodaboda or walk.

I'm never clean even right after I step out of the shower.

Mail and packages are not delivered to your door. You have to take a 2 or 3 or sometimes even 4 hour trip into town to the post office and frequently what you went to get isn't there.

There are no "quick meals". Everything has to be made from scratch.

Most of the things I eat at home are not available here and if they are, they're very expensive.

I see things here every day that would be considered abuse in the States. I see people live in poverty unlike anything else I've ever seen. I see people work and work and work and barely make any money.

Most things here operate in such a backwards way, it astounds me.

Life here isn't easy, but it's totally worth it.

Because of the lack of convenience and ease, I am forced to rely on God. I have to put my trust in Him, because I know there's no other way to get through it.

I have to trust that He is taking care of the things that I cannot see. This is a place of total dependence on Him. And as much as I love the easy life I live in the US, I love relying on Him more. One of my biggest fears is getting comfortable and forgetting that I need Him. Because I do. Every day. Every hour. I need Him whether I think I do or not.

Until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

At the Cross...

They sit alone on the streets... They don't look you in eye or ever say a word, but their presence screams at you. Their hopelessness is tangible. They have nothing and I have so much. They are beggars on the street and that's probably all they'll ever be. They are children who are abandoned and unloved. If I could, I would bring them all home with me. I would tell them of a father in Heaven who loves them and has plans for them, who can bring them out of the muck and the mire that is all they've ever known. I could spend days, weeks, years picking up one child after another and there would still be more who are sent to the streets to beg every day.

Some days I feel like if I could just have the money to provide for these kids everything would be okay. Sometimes I think that if I could just focus on the kids that I can help that faces will stop haunting me. If I just do for one what I wish I could do for everyone, then it would all be okay. There are some days that I feel like if I just curl up in my bed and block the world out, it will  be okay. But until God sets up His kingdom on Earth, it's not all going to be okay.

We live in a lost and broken world. God sends us as salt and light into the world, to be what He is. He sends to redeemed to redeem. He sends the healed to heal. He sends the found to find. He uses the restored to restore. 

We look at the world and think that there's nothing that can be done. The world is just too far gone. There is too much brokenness, too much suffering, too much hunger, too much sin. It seems so impossible to make a difference in the world. But the cross looked like an impossible situation. There is hope in Christ. There is restoration for the world coming and it's our job to be salt and light in the tiny corner of the world God has given us. We may not feel like we're making a huge difference. I may continue to have my heart broken by the things I see here, but God is doing eternal things every time we are faithful to what He calls us to.

As I typed this out, these lyrics are stuck in my head:

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me,

There's no greater love than this.

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now?

He has overcome the grave! Is there anything left that He can't overcome? Certainly not. I place my trust in Him and follow Him as faithfully as I can!


Until all have heard
lauren michelle gross

Belief = Obedience

My 24 birthday came with some pretty amazing gifts: from my sister I got a new study Bible that I've wanted for a while, and from some friends I got the Precept Covenant Study! I loved these gifts so much because they have been great tools in my relationship with Christ. I loved loved studying my new Bible and I loved learning about what it means to be in Covenant with God.

All that to say... while I was studying today I learned (or I guess was just reminded of) something very important. When you accept salvation through Jesus Christ, when you believe in Him, when you put your faith in Him, obedience follows.

This morning I woke up to find out that the presidential election didn't turn out the way I had hoped... For the past few weeks, every time I thought about the state of my country it almost made me sick. As I found out Obama had been reelected, I felt sick. But what does God call us to do? be obedient to His Word. To pray for our leaders and to give them respect. All leadership is God ordained, and God know what He is doing. So I put my faith in God, and I am praying for my president and all the leadership that God has set up in my country. Belief in God leads to obedience.

I have also been worried about things going on at home... Where am I going to live? Am I going to be able to find a job? Are things going to be done in time for us to go to Passion? (and a few other things). God tell me not to worry. He says the troubles of today are enough without piling on the worries of tomorrow. And since belief in God leads to obedience... it's time for me to trust that God is working things out... If I have faith in Him, I must have faith in His plans and His complete control.

With faith, belief, and obedience I hand it over to God!

until all have heard,

lauren michelle gross

Angels are Rejoicing!

Today was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot stress that enough. This morning started with Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal... (I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it totally was!) Then we went to New Brainstorm Primary School and had program with them. It was a great time.

Me preaching at City Side

I then got the opportunity to preach at a High School Scripture Union. This is a gathering of Christian students that they have every day of the week. There were a few hundred kids present and I was kinda freaked out about speaking to them. I've had a hard week. I was not confident that what I was sharing would be relevant to these kids whose lives I can barely understand. These kids live harder lives than I can imagine and they are so faithful to God. I was nervous to say the least.

I got up and began to share about Rahab... In the New Testament she was known for her faith... but most of her life she was known as a prostitute. God brought her out of her sin and grafted her into the family of God. And through her, Christ was born. She is in the lineage of my Savoir... God can use anyone.

My 4 New Christian Brothers!!!

When I got done speaking, I found out that 4 young men accepted the Lord!!! Amazing! God can use even me. I would like you to know that angels are rejoicing over these 4 men's decision. And I'm rejoicing too!

until all have heard,
lauren michelle gross